things to think about

today i am thinking about: GIRLS
May 7, 2009, 12:27 am
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  • Here are some nice things about girls:
    1. Soft skin.
    2. Tits.
    3. Cute faces.
    4. Cute everything else.
    5. Flirting.
    6. Dressing up fancy.
    7. Little kisses.
    8. The way they walk
    9. Hearing them talk
    10. Making them smile
  • Here are some things I feel with some girls, and I like it:
    1. Strong.
    2. Competent.
    3. Comprehensible.
    4. Like a teenage boy who just wants to YOU KNOW a lot
    5. The right kind of strong-willed.
  • Here are some problematics with my girl-based paradigm:
    1. Not all girls have these qualities.
    2. Not all the people who have these qualities are girls.
    3. I can be kind of misogynist with a list like that.
    4. Because girls are strong and don’t need me to be competent and all these things I admit, I admit, I can mess up sometimes in my new gender wonderland.
      • Who has two thumbs and worries about being misogynist in overeagerly wanting to delineate arbitrary differences in gender?
      • THIS GUY.
      • What if that misogyny is invited? And you know sometimes it’s fully consensual and hot.
    5. I should be a feminist and not just be that dude objectifying hot girls.
    6. But you know sometimes I have to just recite to myself “eyes on the face, eyes on the face, eyes on the face.
  • Also, mostly I am thinking about one girl in particular. The facts:
    1. Such a compellingly particular aesthetic and sensibility.
    2. The sweetest face.
    3. Such a smile!
    4. Good brain. Up for a challenge, worth thinking about.
    5. I feel a lot of tenderness to this one. I like this thing that is happening.
  • Should a gentleman kiss and tell?
    Pro: Crushes are really compelling, and when it is hot it is hard not to want to tell EVERYONE about it, and who doesn’t like gossiping about hot times and it’s like of course you want to know that cute thing they do, that really cute thing, how could anyone not want to know about it? Con: Some things should be private and I’d hate to embarass the lady in question. Counter-con: Some girls are cute when they blush. It is hard not to want to provoke it.
  • But you know what I mean, right. I mean, you know what I mean. That really full feeling. Where you just want to smile and tell everyone the most minute and embarassing details. When the world is smiling at you back and it’s AWESOME.
  • A few other ideas I think about sometimes:
    1. Hot tall queer: too much rum, lots of kissing, did not go home with them. V. curious.
      • Curiosity killed the cat.
      • But satisfaction brought it back.
    2. Hot girl, short skirt, beach blanket, bruised for weeks.
      • Holy hot, dude. And in a different way.
      • But do I NEED to?
  • Options and thoughts:
    1. Why put any stress on a really good thing?
    2. Getting what you ask for in the context of agreements you have made and are respecting is actually not that stressful.
    3. I cannot be bruised up for weeks again.
  • Non-monogamy in any practice is hard and scary.
  • How do I know what I want?
    1. Betty Everett: it’s in his kiss
    2. Whitney Houston: it’s just a feeling
    3. Anne Sexton: every part of you says yes, including the toes
    4. Whitesnake: my back is against the wall
    5. True love doesn’t wait, it quizzes.
  • Am I going to be unable to move my hands by the time I’m 40?
    • Repetitive stress injuries are often exascerbated by repetitive motion, especially with a lot of force behind it.
    • I am not as compliant with my physical therapy as I’d like.
    • My issue is not carpal tunnel, at my wrist, but cubital tunnel, at my elbow.
    • One other thing I like about girls: they encourage me to do my exercises. In many different ways.