things to think about


today i am thinking about: THE GODDAMN RAIN
June 21, 2009, 11:25 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Today’s forecast: Cloudy with periods of goddamn rain. High 71F. Winds N at 10 to 20 mph. Chance of goddamn rain 80%. Goddamn rainfall near a half an inch. (www.weather.com) I quit life.

  1. I don’t want to live in a world where New York in June is like Seattle in December.
  2. It has goddamn rained almost every day this June — 14 of the first 15 days, 15 of the first 19, and now 17 of the first 21.
  3. Here are some of the things the goddamn rain has done:
    • Knocked down a building in Ft. Greene.
    • It’s the worst June in 16 years for outdoor recreation businesses!
    • Cancelled the US Open and some golf things and goddamn rained out a lot of baseball games.
    • There must be a silver lining, right? What is it?
      • It’s one of the best Junes in 20 years for inside recreation!
      • I’m sure everyone’s gardens are really happy or something, if they’re not all drowning.
      • The White House is finally admitting: global warming!
      • Here are some songs about global warming (click to listen):
        1. “If We Had Some Global Warming”by Minnesotans for Global Warming (“If we had some global warming/We’d have some nice greenhouse effect (ever been in a greenhouse? it’s nice and hot)/If we had some global warming/Maybe we’d get some palm trees (just think! 10,000 lakes and palm trees)”)
          • Think “If I Had A Million Dollars” only not quite a satisfying parody.
            • What must it be like to play one song for 15 years now? What must it be like to do any one thing for 15 years, almost a nightly ritual? But especially on a stage, how do you keep it fresh?
        2. Jill Sobule sings at TED.
          (“I brought the iced tea, did you bring the bug spray/The flies are the size of your head/Next to the palm tree did you see the gators/Looking happy and well fed/Everyone’s out in merry/Manhattan in January”)
          • Things I would kill to do: go to TED.
        3. Vermillion Lies sings about global warming in San Francisco: “My horse will be a seahorse/My cat will be a catfish/My dog will be really wet/And I will grow some fins.”
  4. Things I am NOT doing in the goddamn rain:
    • Singing and dancing:
    • Chillin in the car I spent all day waxing
    • Enjoying any jumping fish or high cotton:
  5. “”I will not again curse the ground because of man, even though the inclination of the heart of man [is] evil from childhood. And I will not again destroy every living thing as I just did.”

I’M LOOKING AT YOU, HASHEM. I’M LOOKING AT YOU.