things to think about


today i am thinking about: THE GODDAMN RAIN
June 21, 2009, 11:25 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Today’s forecast: Cloudy with periods of goddamn rain. High 71F. Winds N at 10 to 20 mph. Chance of goddamn rain 80%. Goddamn rainfall near a half an inch. (www.weather.com) I quit life.

  1. I don’t want to live in a world where New York in June is like Seattle in December.
  2. It has goddamn rained almost every day this June — 14 of the first 15 days, 15 of the first 19, and now 17 of the first 21.
  3. Here are some of the things the goddamn rain has done:
    • Knocked down a building in Ft. Greene.
    • It’s the worst June in 16 years for outdoor recreation businesses!
    • Cancelled the US Open and some golf things and goddamn rained out a lot of baseball games.
    • There must be a silver lining, right? What is it?
      • It’s one of the best Junes in 20 years for inside recreation!
      • I’m sure everyone’s gardens are really happy or something, if they’re not all drowning.
      • The White House is finally admitting: global warming!
      • Here are some songs about global warming (click to listen):
        1. “If We Had Some Global Warming”by Minnesotans for Global Warming (“If we had some global warming/We’d have some nice greenhouse effect (ever been in a greenhouse? it’s nice and hot)/If we had some global warming/Maybe we’d get some palm trees (just think! 10,000 lakes and palm trees)”)
          • Think “If I Had A Million Dollars” only not quite a satisfying parody.
            • What must it be like to play one song for 15 years now? What must it be like to do any one thing for 15 years, almost a nightly ritual? But especially on a stage, how do you keep it fresh?
        2. Jill Sobule sings at TED.
          (“I brought the iced tea, did you bring the bug spray/The flies are the size of your head/Next to the palm tree did you see the gators/Looking happy and well fed/Everyone’s out in merry/Manhattan in January”)
          • Things I would kill to do: go to TED.
        3. Vermillion Lies sings about global warming in San Francisco: “My horse will be a seahorse/My cat will be a catfish/My dog will be really wet/And I will grow some fins.”
  4. Things I am NOT doing in the goddamn rain:
    • Singing and dancing:
    • Chillin in the car I spent all day waxing
    • Enjoying any jumping fish or high cotton:
  5. “”I will not again curse the ground because of man, even though the inclination of the heart of man [is] evil from childhood. And I will not again destroy every living thing as I just did.”

I’M LOOKING AT YOU, HASHEM. I’M LOOKING AT YOU.

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3 Comments so far
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Don’t worry. There was a big Thunderstorm here last night and now, despite it only being a little after 9, it is already in the mid-70s BEFORE heat index (which they are reporting as a degree).

So warm weather is on the way.

Comment by Alia

If world destruction is imminent, G-d is not doing a very efficient job. NC is bright and sunny.
Not to, uh, make you break that commandment about envy or anything…

Comment by Joy

See, now, I was going to come here and be magnanimous and generous, full of “oh, it’s fine.”

Only it has KEPT RAINING. Every day. In fact, my July 4th weekend beach plans just got tanked by virtue of the fact it just started pouring. I hope you in NC are enjoying it! I am here thinking about buying another pair of galoshes for fashion’s sake. Ugh.

Comment by glitzkreig bop




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