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* TSA will stop you. TSA will stop you no matter what you do. TSA will take a look at your snivelling, snot-covered face and it will tell you to go see a ticket agent and it will not care that your grandma died, or that your plane got cancelled, or that you can see the plane you need to get on and you know you can make it before they close the door. TSA won’t care you’ve already got your shoes off. TSA won’t care your laptop comes out of its case in no time. TSA just does not care, and it’s funny how they’re supposed to keep us safer, because in my bag right now I realized I have at least 3 different forbidden items and I have passed through security TWICE.
* There was another lady on the cancelled 1pm flight who had been to 3 airports in one day. Her husband got in some kind of accident where they live, somewhere that speaks with a midwestern drawl, and he had emergency surgery and his neck was in a halo, so she couldn’t even talk to him because they couldn’t get a phone into the halo, and the airlines didn’t really care all that much. She had been to three airports, all in the service of tracking down a plane, and to give you a sense of scale the first airport was Ithaca. No matter how bad it is, someone is always worse.
* I am not a good eater at the best of times. My friends have been texting me reminding me to eat all day. So I did, finally, at LaGuardia before we took off: a pretzel dog. A cheese and fruit plate. A little container of mango. Friends: airport food is gross. I don’t know why I tried to eat anything other than McDonald’s. I am still hungry but I will be on the ground in 2 hours in Missouri and I’ll eat something then.
* It is still a miracle that I am here at all. I was going back and forth all weekend about going. Finally last night I decided I needed to go. And it was more and more upsetting and then Miss Dish my girlfriend and sweetheart did something amazing. See, Miss Dish flies for work. She flies to Africa for work. There are months where she will go to Africa twice for work. Miss Dish has about one billion frequent flier miles and she got me a ticket with them. It cost $10 and 25,000 miles. It’s likely that she will accumulate 25,000 more miles before the end of the year. It’s a miracle. I feel overwhelmed in the good way.
* The plane we are flying to Springfield in has capacity for 50 people. It is a “Canadair Regional Jet” I can’t find more information because the internet is very slow here but I assure you it will be tiny. I hope I get 2 seats to myself.
Time to find a snack and hit the road.
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things to think about 