things to think about

today i am grateful for: QUEER LEGENDS IN OUR MIDST
December 7, 2010, 2:21 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Saturday night I went to see a show by Tim Miller, one of the NEA 4, a real QUEER PERFORMANCE ART LEGEND. Then I went to a latke party at the home of a QUEER MOVIEMAKING LEGEND. I stood around all night and talked with people I didn’t know, and some I did – some of the most interesting people in NYC I am sure. I helped make latkes. I watched as two artists I respect immensely did the best Chanukkah ritual I have seen yet and I held a Chanukkah candle in my hand as my own little light. I got driven home by a filmmaker I respect immensely who did something awesome and we had an amazing conversation together sitting in her car in front of my house.

It was basically an answer to the question “why do you live in New York, anyways?”

I’m not a huge starfucker generally speaking – or I guess the thing is that I don’t like to be this guy who is all I LIVE IN NEW YORK BECAUSE IT IS COOL. I am a huge starfucker in that I fucking love living in this community with living legends. I performed on Friday at the book release party of the person who basically made up modern performative drag kinging – obviously, it’s evolved since then, but you know. She was the first, or at least as much the first one to get recognition, or at least the first one to get recognition and live in New York. It’s easy to be an asshole here and forget that other places have awesome artistic history too because you’re talking to someone and *her* most recent show is about all the time she spent with Andy Warhol.

I am taking class with Tim Miller and I am thrilled. It is amazing when living legends turn into regular people, people who maybe talk a little too much and fart and have weird neuroses and are pretty good teachers but not always the best. I live in this place where all these living legends ARE regular people – and I get to interact with them and remember that I am just a real person too, and that it is okay that I am not always A MAGIC CREATURE WEARING JEWELS because even the most magic creatures still have to eat breakfast and take a shower.

I feel in context here. I feel like a freak at work – yes, lesbian paradise – and I feel my weirdness all the time in the greater landscape but I also have a little safe place to retreat to where we are all striving together. It is amazing to feel your heroes and legends just be people around town. It is amazing to feel yourself a part of their work, moving forward. THAT is why I live here, under it all, why I pay so much, why I work so hard. There really is nowhere else like it – and if I can make it here, sure, I’ll be fine everywhere else, but that is because I will have had somewhere to put down roots and grow strong.


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